Tying the Knot

Couples are always looking for new ideas relating to unity rituals. A traditional favorite, of course, is the unity candle. A new-fangled twist on this is the sand ceremony. A less familiar ritual is “hand fasting.” Like the other ceremonial elements, it is a terrific opportunity to incorporate family members or honored guests into the ceremony.

A simple exercise, hand fasting can be done anywhere, so it well-suited for outdoor weddings where other options may be cumbersome. Hand fasting can be interpreted many ways, to reflect the tastes of the couple. I encourage couples to create their own ties for the wedding, as a keepsake of the day. Wide, and sometimes elaborate ribbons (usually two to three yards long), can be used for this part of the ceremony. The bride and groom may wish to coordinate the ribbons, which are usually combined or braided, with their wedding colors. Small mementos,charms and other decorations can be fashioned on the cords.

Hand fasting lends itself to wonderful prose about tying the knot, the strength of love, and so one. Here is the introduction I used in a recent wedding.

“The hand fasting ritual symbolizes the joining of a man and woman in marriage and the strength of their partnership. As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound. Woven into this cord, imbued into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together. With the fashioning of this knot do we tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last. As your hands are bound by this cord, so is your partnership held by the symbol of this knot. Two entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to this union. Hold tight to one another through both good times and bad, and watch as your strength grows.”

The particular wording and choreography with a loved (or loved ones) can be customized by each couple--part of the fun of planning the wedding. But this is always a creative and unusual expression of the bonds of matrimony.