Peace be with you

As a child growing up in Oklahoma, I attended a traditional Presbyterian Church. During the “casual” Sunday service, one of the most intimate moments was the “Passing of the Peace.” In a service filled with folk and popular music, the participation of children, and other contemporary elements, this ritual provided an immediate connection among congregants. Each individual turned to those around him or her and clasped hands repeating the simple words, “Peace be with you,” to which the other person responded, “And also with you.” For those who knew each other, the greetings might be longer and more personal, or accompanied by a hug, but it was a heart-warming experience for all. In reading Daphne Rose Kingma’s helpful book Weddings from the Heart, I noticed that she suggested the same ritual during a wedding ceremony. I think it is a lovely idea, whether coming from a place of religious faith or secular community building. Consider including this simple, but powerful, gesture as a way to connect your wedding guests.

Communal Blessing of the Rings

I am often approached by couple’s planning a small private ceremony with, perhaps , 20 or so guests. Given that it is such an intimate gathering, the bride and groom are looking for ways to draw the guests into the ceremony. One nice idea I like to mention is a “Blessing” (or passing) of the rings. The ritual is simple, but powerful. We place the wedding bands in a lovely box or decorative pouch (likewise, rings could be tied together with a beautiful ribbon) to be handed from guest to guest, before the ceremony begins , maybe during a period of music and reflection. Each guest holds the rings, and silently offers a prayer or wish for the couple. Each honored guest as “warmed” the ring before it is exchanged during the ceremony.