Shed a Little Light

The lighting of the unity candle has long been a favorite ritual for weddings. Although often associated with Christian ceremonies, the use of candles and light are connected to many traditions. The beauty and significance of light, as a symbol of the divine, hope, and the beauty and power shared connection, is a lovely addition to any ceremony. One of the terrific aspects of this ritual is how it can be fashioned to serve the purposes of the honored couple.


In some cases, a candle-lighting will be integrated into the ceremony as a way to remember loved ones who have passed. I often suggest that this sort of ritual be placed at the beginning of the service, following welcoming remarks and notes of thanks to family members and loved ones of the couple.

A more familiar use of the candle lighting is as a representation of the coming together of two families. In many cases, the unity candle ceremony is performed by mothers of the bride and groom—a recognition of their pivotal role in bringing life and wisdom to the couple. Following the mother’s lighting of candles, the couple may then follow with their own igniting of a single candle, symbolizing their union as a new family. The single candle also may show the connectedness of the partners, as well as their role in supporting the energy, the inner light, of their beloved. The unity candle may similarly be utilized to remind the guests of the joy and connection of a newly blended family, perhaps with children of the bride and groom. Although a simple ritual, the lighting of the candle is a very special role for any wedding guest.

I am particularly fond of something I think of as a “reverse” unity candle ceremony. This element can be choreographed along these lines: a bride and groom may begin with a single flame, connoting the connection of all to a universal spirit and goodness. From this central illumination, the bride and groom draw their own life. This light is then passed from the bride and groom to wedding attendants and eventually all wedding guests. As light is shared among all guests, the end result is a community wide holding of the light. Especially for an evening wedding, the dim light of candles can have a stunning impact.

The unity candle lighting can serve as a very nice opportunity for a special musical interlude also. In a ceremony with which I am familiar, the community candle lighting was accompanied by the popular song, written and performed by James Taylor. Some years ago, Taylor wrote a beautiful song, “Shed a Little Light,” in remembrance of the great Dr. Martin Luther King. The emotional lyrics call on us all to draw from our well-spring of humanity to advance the greater good. To my way of thinking, there is nothing more potent that using an couple’s celebration of love to remind all guests of the potential of shared love to do good in the world.